Giving Your Whole Heart To Your Covenant Marriage Partner

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Published on Friday, 17 June 2011 15:27

You know, many people on their wedding day, the day they start their covenant marriage, they want to give their marriage partner their whole heart. So a woman says to her husband-to-be on her wedding day: “Honey, I just want to give you my whole heart.” And he says the same. But you know, we found many, many people don’t have a whole heart to give. Do you know why that is?
 

That’s because of the typical modern day dating process that we go through. Do you know that when you’re about thirteen, fourteen years old, and you first come alive at puberty to the opposite sex? You know, before that time, you don’t even like boys. You don’t even like girls. And then all of a sudden, you come alive to the opposite sex and it’s like you get a little radar system.

And so, you’re looking around at school or in a youth group or somewhere and that little radar is going popopopopopoo. And what is that looking for? Someone who looks good to me. And when I find a person like that, I want to get to know them, and suppose we become boyfriend and girlfriend. Now when a person lets their heart go out in romantic love to another person, do you know it’s like gluing two heart together? It’s like taking this piece of paper and gluing these two hearts together.

Now, the problem with that is it isn’t meant to last long term. And it’s even more devastating when there are sexual relationships that get involved because there’s a tighter gluing that happens than just the emotional relationship. And then when that boyfriend-girlfriend relationship later breaks, and it would break because it wasn’t designed by God to end in a lifelong covenant marriage relationship, and it even wasn’t designed by that boy or girl to end up in a lifelong relationship. So it later breaks.

How many know that paper – those two hearts don’t come apart the same way that they’re glued together and there are pieces of one stuck to the other. It’s like there’s a ripping, and a tearing – and we take that apart. And my heart is given to this first girlfriend, now I only have this left. And now because I’m wounded and I’m hurt, guess what I do? What do I do to comfort the pain, of the rejection from breaking up. You know what I do? Turn the radar on again and popopopopopo – “Oh, there she is! Oh she’s beautiful! And then I want to be with that one. I glue my heart to her.” And guess what happens? That relationship also breaks. No, we’re not even talking about sexual here. Again, it’s much more intense if there’s sexual involvement. I’m just talking about what happens if a boyfriend and girlfriend unite their hearts emotionally. And now let’s say we tear that apart. And let’s say I go and do that again. Now I’m wounded. I’m looking for another young woman that I want to unite with. She’s going to be my girlfriend. We glue our hearts together – what happens? Again, we break that relationship and a part of my heart remains with her. And now my heart is like this.

And suppose I continue doing this dating process: uniting my heart with somebody and breaking it. Uniting my heart with somebody and then breaking it and I continue this process. Each one of these girls has a part of my heart that I really don’t get back. And finally, I found the girl that God really intended for me to marry, and I’m excited about marrying her. Our wedding day comes and I’m ready to give her my whole heart. And so on our wedding day and covenant marriage, I say to my bride, “Honey, I love you so much. I want to give you my whole heart. And this is all I’ve got available, because I’ve given the rest of it away to these multiple people.”

And I found that happened so many times to so many, many people. And she has done the same and neither he nor she has a whole heart to give, and as a result of that, they’re wounded, they’re damaged, it creates a lot of conflict – a lot of wounding in marriage. And many people start out without a whole heart. Just a little, tiny piece of a heart to give each other. You know, the good news is that can be repaired. That can be restored. And God can restore to people a whole heart. We’ve designed a seminar specifically to help bring healing to people’s hearts and to restore a whole heart that you might have a whole heart to give to your future husband, to your future wife. We call this seminar “The Question,” and to get more information about the “The Question,” find where that seminar might be in your local area. Jump on our website, www.familyfoundations.com.